Praying them through...

My friend always says that when in it comes to love, we have to unlearn all that we have learnt .  So am going back to the basics: the basic fundamentals of love. Christ’s command was to love each other…simple, just love.  And He showed us the ultimate measure of love as it is confirmed in the Bible where it says in John 15:13 “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends”. …So everyday I try to measure up and of late am learning that for me part of that commandment involves me praying for my loved ones… 

Whenever I feel like my life is spiraling out of control, I find myself praying that no one should go through this. I find myself praying for the joy, success and happiness of my loved ones…

I pray that this year my best friends wedding will be her happiest day yet and one that will lead to subsequent days filled with laughter and joy...

I find myself praying for my pal who’s trying to sort some things in his life, I may not mention it here, but my dear know that I pray you figure it out.

I find myself praying for the success of my oldest friend’s business.

I find myself praying for my lil brother, that as I watch him grow everyday, that he will turn out to be a young man after God’s own heart.

I find myself praying for my craziest friend who just like me is starting out her career path. I pray that all the dreams and ambitions you have will come to pass.

I pray for my ‘villager’ friend, who God is using him to inspire many with his positive outlook of life and through his testimony.

I find myself praying for my amazing lil sister that she may have the best time in campus but more so that she may avoid the mistakes I made coz God knows, the painful healing process I went through.

I pray that God may sustain my father’s businesses and that he may never lack just as he ensured we his children never lacked.

I find myself praying for my fellow CBDers that we will make it through together through this crazy journey of consulting..

I find myself praying that I will one day be the woman my mum is…her best quality is her prayer life.

I find myself praying for my cousin that she may experience the amazing love of God before this world swallows her whole.

I find myself praying that even as we goof around more than do important things in a meeting/rehearsal that our ministry will make a difference...coz that’s our ultimate prayer as a team.

I know we appreciate our loved ones in very many different ways. But try this venture too, we try to protect them from any form of harm, but since we may not always be in a position to do so, the best thing you could do for them is place them in the hands of the ultimate Protector. The One who can love them in a way we may never possibly could at least from this side of heaven….

Love them on your knees…

Love even yourself by praying through life(trust me it’s easier that way)

Love her by dedicating her to the Lord…by placing her at the feet of Jesus.

Love him by lifting him to Christ, by placing him at the open arms of Christ…

Love them by praying them through…

Somebody's Praying Me Through - Mark Helton

Rest...its just around the corner

Matthew 11:28-30

New International Version (NIV)

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

So I decided to write something personal, something more personal than I’d care to admit or probably would never admit it out loud to someone else. To hear myself saying it will just sound insane. So here I am writing about something I’d never let my voice say…but then again, they say, never say never.

It happened a while back (read forever ago) but still the memory of it brings a tinge of pain. In my mind I had built this idea and thought that I had it all figured out... that my days in the market were done, that I had already found THE ONE! I had built this world and in the frenzy of living in my utopia world, I failed to notice the warning signs along the way. it’s like I was sure of my very next move and it didn’t matter whatever else would happen, I was determined to make it work... so here I was bearing my all, knocking on a door that was never going to be opened. Calling out for a response that was never going to come…but no! I was determined! And I was taught never to give up along the way. I was taught quitters never win and winners never quit! So I continued forward ignoring anything that said it wouldn’t work. Eventually the silence became clear that the response would never come and the door would never open and by the time that epiphany was coming through, the damage was already done.

So amidst the blurry vision barricaded by my tears, a thought came through…a desperate one for answers, but still an intriguing one. The search for rest was slowly taking a toll. So I thought, what if the law allowed us to sue for a broken heart? Sue for the tears we cried, sue for the heartache that actually feels like physical pain, sue for the days of confusion, walking around with a cloud over our heads, walking as if the world had just been placed over our shoulders…sue for the days when the world seemed like one big scary place, sue for the hurtful words that were said in anger, sue for the moments we wished the past was somehow different.

Would it make our pain go away?  Would we forget the pain we went through? Would it brighten our day? Would it make it all better? Would we feel a sense of closure once the case is done? Would we be able to move on immediately the case was done? Would it erase the painful memories we dearly hold on to instead of dearly letting them go? Would it make it easier for us to walk away without regret and even in some cases revenge?

Life would have been a lot easier if we had a manual that gave direction for everything. Gave us direction of how to wash away the memories. Gave us direction of how to block out the painful memories that sting our eyes with tears. A manual that gave us the step by step of how to live without regret. A manual that showed us what to do next. A manual that gave us a map to direct us to that ‘place’ where rest was the lifestyle.

But when you think about it, we do have that manual. And for me that’s the Holy Bible. Back then the clarity wasn’t all that, but now, nothing has ever been so clear! And I know you are wondering where all that I’ve asked above can be helped using the Bible…(I probably asked myself that a few times.) but the Good Book clearly tell us in Matthew 11:28-30 to go to Him all who are weary and are heavy burned, and a broken heart is a burden on its own. It’s like carrying a burden and you are standing in a crowd screaming your heart out for help, but no one except you can hear you. No one can lift the burden from your weak, feeble and now tired hands.

And we do crazy things all in the name of searching for that ‘elusive rest’ and many of us live with the ideology of desperate times call for desperate measures. But I challenge it and say, desperate times call for a time to stop and re-evaluate …the desperate measures probably will add do more harm than good...so STOP! Drop all the plans made and go back to Him who has the manual, He wrote it and it’s at His feet where we can get ultimate rest! Anything else we do outside THE Manual, only gives us a temporary solution and after a while, we’ll realize that whatever answer we had, was just a pigment of our imagination of what the answer would be! So take a back seat and let God be the driver, He’s got this! Coz in the end, it all works out okay, all for His glory, and if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.

Seasonal people, Lifetime expectations

Many times it’s easier to wish for the good old days, the days when happiness came as easily as breathing. The good old days when all made sense, when everything was clear. The good old days when we were sure of our next move when we were certain that things will always work out. The days when we walk down memory lane all we see is beautiful smiles and wonderful people and the many friends we had. 

I have met enough in my life. I have friends who’ve been with me through thick and thin. I’ve met people who’ve inspired me to become a better person. Who’ve brought out the best in me. I’ve met others who’ve made me reveal a side of me I wish to forever keep locked. In high school I have met people who are still friends till today.  In campus it was a whole new ball game and I’ll forever cherish the friendships I’ve made.

Once a friend of mine asked me if my friends were truly friends or were they just convenience friends. Would they still be there once we finished school? Or when we finally walked to that podium for graduation that would also be our last real time together. And that disturbed me for quite a while. I mean I didn’t want a friendship that was just convenient for us just because we were schoolmates, classmates or even roommates. I wanted to believe that it would stand the test of time and that we would still be as close as we were. Unfortunately true to his word, some of my friendships were just convenient friendships. And no one is to blame. It just runs its course.

Am the kind of person who wants to hold on to every moment. To hold on to the friendships, the crazy times we shared in the past. I hated goodbyes and many of the times I tried to hold on for as long as I could. I used to wonder what was the point of making friendships if we were only going to say goodbye at some point. And many times in the past I wanted to relieve my past. I mean, life was easier back then and everything was easy. But I’ve come to learn that sometimes even the best of things eventually come to an end. And indeed life does go on and though we may try to hold on to some people forever, some of their paths are just different from ours. Their roads are leading to a whole different destination. 

 We may not have them forever but we can be sure that the happy memories will last a life time. Having crazy fun while we still can, being there for each other when it matters the most. So yeah, I will enjoy our time together and make it count as possibly as I can, because those memories will keep me going as they remind me of the good old days. I’ve come to understand that life is just unfolding as it should. As I heard somewhere in a movie, the past is called the past for a reason. Why should you try to relive a moment in your life you’ve already experienced? Go places you’ve already been. Life is about discovery. And eventually everybody moves on and that’s not such a bad thing though.

Someone very wise once said, people come and go. Some people are meant to last for a season, while others are meant to last a lifetime. We get hurt or disappointed when we mix seasonal people with lifetime expectations. To those who are still part of my life, I hope and pray that you’ll be here for the long whole. But if God so wills and our paths in life have to part ways, I won’t be saddened, I’ll cherish the moments we’ve spent together, treasure our memories and carry with me the valuable lessons you’d have taught me. It’s a beautiful world and there’s a lot to discover and no matter the distances or whatever may happen, I know, that we’ll still always be friends.

"Cherish and appreciate the few true friends you have, they are the flowers in the garden of our lives"

Forbidden fruit tastes sweetest… everything we know we aren’t meant to do come so easy…one would say it’s like our 2^nd nature. Last Sunday in church my Passie was preaching about parents raising their children and especially dealt with the fathers…maybe because next Sunday is father’s day…but I digress. Anyway immediately he started preaching, my 1^st reaction was to switch off since am not yet a parent. In my head I figured, I will listen to this sermon in like three or four years. And it’s like he read my mind coz he said, “I know a majority of you may want to switch off since it’s the youth service, but I urge you to listen, you may not be a parent now, or are done with parenting, but somehow you’ll need this.” I therefore decided to listen and even take notes. They may come in handy in the not-so-distant future! So he went on with his preaching but what really struck me the most is one thing, as young people we may be more educated than our parents, even have better jobs than them but they have one thing that we don’t, and that is, EXPERIENCE! I know a majority of us have heard this word before and even heard that sermon of ‘experience’ but last Sunday it really did strike me. Our parents have the one thing no school can teach us. They have the one thing that God has blessed them with by giving them the many years they’ve lived. 

You know how they say God works in mysterious ways, well He came through that very Sunday in a very mysterious way. After having such a wonderful time in church, I went home. There is some house hold chore that I was meant to do and I hadn’t done. So immediately I get to the house, my mum starts quarreling me coz of not doing it. The whole time I nearly wanted to lash out at her. I mean, it wasn’t my fault plus, I was going to do them anyway! So she went on and on about how that was irresponsible and even gave me a lash out on behalf of my sister since she wasn’t physically there. I came so close to lashing out but thankfully God held my tongue. Then God reminded me of what I had learnt in church. As much as I would have wanted to say that my mum was wrong, I remembered that maybe she was just teaching me about the future, of how to take care of my own house in the future. And I remembered my Passie’s words, she’s got Experience! She’s been married for 25 years, chances are, she knows things here and there that no school on this planet will ever teach me. 

So I’ve decided that I will listen to my parents and heed their words. Even the Bible likes children who obey, Ephesians 6:1-3 says  “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ² “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: ³ “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”   

Sometimes I may not agree with them but I will not disobey! I will heed the words of The Good Book and as I sign off, I’ll leave you with an interesting excerpt I once came across.

I was RAISED!! I didn’t just grow up.

 I was raised!! I didn’t just grow up. I was taught to speak when I enter a room, say please & thank you, to have respect for my elders, to get up off my lazy butt and let the elder in the room have my chair, lend a helping hand to those in need, hold the door for the person behind me, say excuse me when it’s needed, & to love people for who they are, not for what I can get from them! I was also taught to treat people the way I want to be treated

Perfectly imperfect...

Even the best needles are not sharp at both ends.(Chinese Proverb)

 Many are the times we try to hide our pain, our heartache, our challenges, our faults, our mistakes, our disappointments. And it’s natural to do so. We are taught never to air our dirty laundry in public. We are taught to stay strong. To pick ourselves up when we fall. We are taught never to show the world our weaknesses. We are taught how to put up a brave face in the face of adversity. We are taught to keep it all inside.

It’s just how the world operates. Who in their right mind would spend a fortune of their hard earned money (even if your parents worked for it) to buy something faulty. Imagine buying a spoon without a handle. Or buying a shoe with half a sole. Imagine spending a fortune on a watch that couldn’t tell time. Or an umbrella that leaks in rain instead of protecting you from rain. Naturally we throw away such things. We don’t even give them a second glance…but then again, even a dead clock is right twice a day.

A story is told of a certain 16 year old girl. At 16 our biggest concern is whether we fit in. do we fit in with the popular kids, the geeks, the sports people, the fashonistas, the drama queens, the rich kids? Where exactly do we fall…but that was not the case for this 16 year old kid. While her friends were busy idolizing musicians, for half her year, she was busy being forced to eat healthy, taking medication and trying to get better. For 30 days she spent in a hospital and a majority of the time she was in pain...she got surgical scars out of that ordeal. And though at that time she never wanted anyone to see her scars, now 9 years later, she can proudly show them off. Reason being, they have healed.

Our imperfections are what makes us who we are…that small toe that we want to hide, that forehead we cover up with our hair, the uneven skin tone, those skinny legs, and even the scars we bear from certain injuries in our life. Our imperfections are what make us stand out. And the best part about the scars we bear is that, they all carry something positive. A scar means that the process is complete. That the wound is finally healed and that the pain is no longer there.  It  shows that  we’ve gone through the process of healing and that we can now look back and not have a heavy heart. We can now talk about the situation and in some cases even laugh about it.

All wounds eventually dry up. They eventually heal. It might be painful now, it might be scary but eventually it all gets better.  They say God can heal our broken hearts, but we have to give Him all the pieces. Don’t  hold on to that one piece in the hope that something may change because some situations are like broken glass, it’s better to leave them broken than hurt ourselves even more when trying to put it all together. God is the healer of all things but it doesn’t happen overnight, He requires time…give God time. Everything ends up okay in the end; if it doesn’t end up okay then it’s not the end. 

You can choose to perceive things differently. You can focus on what’s wrong or in this case imperfect, or you can focus on what’s right. You can choose to create the world you want, because you can. there is always a kind of beauty in imperfection. if its something you can change, then change it, if not, stop obsessing over it! Smile at your imperfections, they are just a small yet very important part of your story.